Small satisfactions that my weight loss has given me in the past week:
🖤Even my face has changed. It is still round, it will always be, but it’s not chubby anymore. My dimples are more visible. I have an actual jawline and I can slightly see my cheekbones and a bit of contour. I’m also even paler than before, if possible, wich fits my aesthetic.
🖤I can feel my ribs and my hipbones. When I run an hand on my bones, I feel like I actually love my body.
🖤When I go shopping, employers look at me and say “you’re so tiny” with that little, satisfying envy.
🖤All the adults I know are all like “okay, you look much better now… but please stop. Don’t lose any more weight.”
🖤There’s this boy I like, well, he’s really really thin. And all of our friends make jokes about the fact that we’re the same size and that so maybe we should be together.
🖤My best friends always asks me if I ate, and it makes me feel important.
🖤My grandma has learnt to cook small portions for “Emma’s tiny stomach.”
🖤Last night I was out with one of my friends and she made A LOT of comments about how perfect my legs were. I remember that, two years ago, she was the small one, but now, when there was no place in the car, I was the one to sit on her lap.
🖤When I saw a girl from my class the other day, she asked me a billion questions about my weight loss, and she gave me that one particular concerned look as I just took a bite of cereal bread for lunch, while she was eathing a huge slice of chocolate cake.
🖤At a fete, a random boy patted my shoulder and told me I was cute and tried to hand me a card with his phone number. And he wasn’t making fun of me. When I said “no, thanks” with a little smile, he looked disappointed.
🖤I haven’t cried in the dressing rooms a single time. The only times I had to leave clothes I like, it was because they didn’t have sizes small enough. Because they didn’t carry an XS or because it was still a little loose. When there are one sizes, I still say “well this isn’t gonna fit”, but for the opposite reason.
🖤I was able to buy a bralette and other cute bras instead of having to get those contenitive cups for old women, the only ones who had C/D cups.
🖤Two days ago, I had an exam. When I found out I had passed it, I was with a friend of mine who always used to be the smaller one. I was really happy and I hugged her, and she lifted me effortlessly. I was pretty surprised by it.
🖤With certain types of tops, I can avoid wearing a bra, and my boobs don’t bounce uncomfortably, neither they look loose. The last time I wore a sundress without a bra, my friend didn’t even believe I wasn’t wearing one.
🖤I still don’t have a very defined thig gap (in the higher point of the thigh it is barely noticeable, just some millimeters) but I don’t have a chub rub either. Sometimes when I walk I have to stop because I think to myself “how the fuck am I walking? My thighs aren’t touching wtf, stop being clumsly and awkward” and then I remember. My thighs aren’t touching, because that’s what they do now.
🖤Even my teachers have commented my weight loss at the exam, and one of them joked that “studying had consumed me”
starving-for-me